How Jim Rash got noticed…Angelina style

Once again, the Oscar telecast was boring and a bit predictable. I wasn’t even intrigued by JLo’s alleged nip slip. No, what I loved were the two scene grabbers on stage. First up, the lovely and poised Angelina Jolie. As she walked the red carpet, Jolie was careful to pose with her right leg outstretched in order to give everyone a gander at her glorious gam. It got old fast, don’t you think? Once or twice and it would have been classy and lovely. After a bit, it became in-your-face camera candy. Not one to shy away from the spotlight, she pulled it off with a smile while on stage presenting.

Enter Jim Rash, one of three winners for the best adapted screenplay for “The Descendants.” He knew that another winner, Alexander Payne, would be accepting the award if they won and wanted to get noticed (who wouldn’t want to when it’s your one big chance on that stage?) But how? He quickly popped out his right leg and put his left hand on his hip a la Jolie. Bam! All eyes were on him. I don’t even remember what his buddy Alexander was saying. All I could do was watch his brilliance. Not only was the pose a brilliant way to get the spotlight, but it did something nobody else was willing to do, mock Angelina for her silly pose.

Haven’t seen what I’m talking about (and it’s amazing if you haven’t)? Go here and check it out. I’m not sure about copyright laws and I know that I can’t pay that photographer what he deserves, so hop over to this sight and get a side by side view of the great Jim Rash/Angelina Poseathon.

Taking a lesson from Jim Rash, I’ve been asking myself one question…how will I get my book noticed out of all those books on the shelves and online? Easy- stand out in the crowd no matter how you have to do it, and get all the cameras on you. When my book is published, I will be promoting it Jim-Rash Style. Out there, not afraid to grab a laugh, and having fun all the way. Congrats to Jim, and Angelina for being a good sport. Stay tuned for my analysis of Tom Cruise’s anti-aging deal with Beelzebub. According to MSNBC, he’s now a living Benjamin Button!

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Drink like a writer…

Ah, the life of a writer. It conjures up all kinds of dreamy pictures in our minds. When I think of a writer, I think of Hemingway working in a small Parisian cafe with his notebook and pencil and a glass of spirits beside him. Or Virginia Woolf in her studio writing with the French doors wide open. But mostly, I think of that well-worn stereotype of the tortured writer, baring emotions and feelings on paper, opening a vein and pouring it onto the page for all to see. All the while, he’s got an amber drink with a few ice cubes at his arm.

So, in pursuit of that image, I employed a friend with a large liquor cabinet to help me choose my drink of choice. This time, it was the Scotch. All serious writers drink Scotch, right? Well, if I’m going to do this right, I might as well go all out. (Remind me to tell you of the time I bought Maraschino liquor because it was Papa’s favorite, thinking it was the cherry kind. Big mistake.)

Here is the wide array of Scotch I had to choose from, only one of which was mine. And yes, I tried them all and took copious notes (as any writer would do) to make sure I got what I wanted next time. I would also note that when I posted this photo on my Facebook page, my writer friends were the first to comment and offer to help me choose. There, proof enough?

First off, let me thank my good friend and neighbor, Sherrie Z., who is not a writer but rather a fabulous clay artist. I have many pieces of her work adorning my home, including this awesome 2.5 foot ceramic bird that I refer to as “The Master Bird.” It was a gift, left on my porch one night, for which I am forever grateful.

Back to the Scotch. The best, in my uneducated opinion, were The Balvenie, Doublewood 12, The Glenfarcle 25 (which I cannot afford and neither could Hemingway I’m sure), and the Dalwhinnie 15, which was quite smooth and drinkable with a honey finish. I did drink all of them, just to make sure, but it was just a small sip each time so I could make an informed decision. (OK, two of the Balvenie, but why not?)

No, I don’t suppose drinking will make me a better writer. And once I finished the boxing match out back after drinking the Scotch, and got my fishing pole out, I got down to the important task of writing. Well, OK, I went to sleep instead. How the hell did they do it?

You can laugh or cry or get a facelift

So proud of my husband, who spent the weekend working with homeless veterans during Stand Down Arizona. He loves to volunteer at the VA hospital and work with veterans. He served during the Vietnam War.

Yes, he’s gray and yes, he’s just about to retire-not a spring chicken, for sure. But three times this weekend while working with the veterans, he was asked if he served in the Korean War. Ha, that would make him about 80 years old now, right?

What a hoot. But what I love about him is that he found it funny and laughed every time. Men are funny that way, aren’t they? Now of course, being a woman I don’t think I would have found it that funny if people thought I was 25 years older than I was. Would you? I would be watching the Lifestyle Lift commercial with the phone in my hand. That would be right after I bought every toning cream in Macy’s, finally found the Spanx aisle and googled Botox.

But it’s all how you look at it, isn’t it? He laughed, just laughed. No reason to get upset, no reason to feel bad. He’s a confident man who is secure and happy with his looks, for an old man.